this wasn't today but i still feel good about it; at the beginning of the month i tried to kill myself via overdosing but made myself throw it all up (at least 30 pills) because my kinda gf had called me and she was crying after i vaguely insinuated i was gonna finally kill myself. i'm mostly proud for managing to push away my own shadows so i could continue to share what's left of my light with her.
Today I felt proud because I took a shower. But it's not just that. It's a symbol. I have some depression problems but I'm glad I still manage to take showers regularly because I know those make me feel better.
Tifp because it’s February 27th and I’ve had no depressive episodes this month. February is normally a black hole for me, things go in, but nothing comes out. It feels like I’m passing a huge milestone.
TIFP because after I relapsed(2 years off-pills, 3 months sober, 5 days over selfharm) I called my support people, talked it through and am starting with day one again. And I couldnt be prouder, because all it took was a few hours for me to realize what the healthy choice is. Addiction is a battle that will never end, but there is glory in fighting it every single day.
Today I felt proud because I took the first step to treating my depression and anxiety by going to the doctor and agreeing on taking further steps by looking for a psychologist after dealing with it for years all by myself.
Today I felt proud because after years of being too scared and downplaying my problems, i finally went to the doctor and got a diagnosis for my depression. Scary. Overwhelming. But i proceeded to go to the psychologist BY MYSELF. and make an appointment BY MYSELF, so i can finally get my life back and see the colour in the world again. Two years ago, i could never have even dreamed of doing this. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but i am so excited (and nervous and scared and horrendously terrified), to get my life back and be happy!
Today I felt proud because despite that today was a total blast, I didn’t have a panic attack and I didn’t cut myself. If you’re reading this and you feel rubbish, know your not alone and I will always be available to talk to every soul who needs it.